My Journey from Misery to Ministry

"You asked, 'who is this who questions My wisdom with such ignorance?' It is I - and I was talking about things I knew nothing about; things far too wonderful for me." ~Job 42:3

Sunday, January 10, 2010

21. Customized Cut and Paste for: Tracy



I am a lover of other people's writing abilities. My own--not so much. I mean, I can write. I can craft fairly creative sentences here and there, when I'm thinking straight. Sometimes "straight" means extremely joyous and sometimes it means extremely sad, but "straight" always means I am ready to WRITE STUFF DOWN NOW because a bunch of extreme emotion is bulging and pushing it out of my brain.

But other times, when I've got no game; when I'm neither giddy with joy from climbing a stepping higher on my mountain, nor down in the dumps from sliding downward, I look to other writings, and sometimes I steal them. (When I do, I ALWAYS use quotes and credit the author. The only time I plagiarized fer reals was when I wrote a cover letter for this job I really wanted... but I digress.)

For tonight's entry of my journey-journal I've decided to put together a collection of quotes from different sources and customize them for--me! I have no followers outside of family, and only a few friends actually read this blog, so I really don't think anyone will be terribly offended that tonight's babbling will not be my own words. Besides, it's going to make me feel better to come back and read the words of outstanding authors, customized just for me. And that's what my journal is primarily about: healing Tracy up.

My first customized plagiarism will be from The Message version of the Bible. I don't think God will have a problem with this. In the book of Matthew, right after the story of Jesus' birth, His baptism, and His forty days of temptation, the Beatitudes are laid out for us. The Message version of the bible portrays the most beautiful, poignant interpretation of these precious blessings I've seen yet.
Matthew 5:3-10
To Tracy... love, Jesus
Tracy, you are blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and His rule.

Tracy, you are blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

Tracy, you are blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourself the proud owner of everything that cannot be bought.

Tracy, you are blessed with you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's the food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

Tracy, you are blessed when you care. At the moment of being care-full, you'll find yourself cared-for.

Tracy, you are blessed when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

Tracy, you are blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in god's family.

Tracy, you are blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
The first time I ever heard this version was when Gayle read them to me, and she inserted my name at the beginning of each one. I was incredibly blessed. Thank you, Gayle! And Thank You, Jesus.

H

From Disappointment: the Sovereign Surprise by Andy Wood, blogspot May, 2009
As difficult and painful as this experience; the loss of my husband and home has been for me, I realize that it is "part of God's plan to take me where He wants me to go, and to make me what He wants me to be. This experience is is actually God's way of taking care of me... for the long term."
This huge disappointment, this delay, this derailment, this detour has a familiar note to it. Seems like someone else got delayed, derailed, and detoured: namely, the children of Israel, after they were delivered from slavery in Egypt. It was a SIX DAY march from Egypt to Canaan. But God had other plans for His delivered. He sent them packing on a detour that was intended to last a few months, but ended up lasting forty years. The idea was to lead them around Philistine territory, rather than straight through it:
"If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt" (Exodus 13:17-18). God had, and still has, a deliberate purpose for this journey of mine. Finally, Tracy "it is not your responsibility to get where you are going. It is to be where God wants you to be".
H

From the book of Psalms, Psalm 6 customized for Tracy:
Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint.
Heal me, O Lord, for I am in agony.
My soul is in anguish,
How long, Lord? How much longer?
Turn, Sweet Lord, and deliver me from these assailing memories
Save me from them because of, and by, Your unfailing love.
How can I praise You when I am weeping?
Who praises You if they are dead? Or numb with sadness?

I am worn out from crying. I am worn out from memories,
once sweet and sacred, now bitter and vengeful.
Every night I drench my pillow with tears.
Every morning sadness awakens me.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow,
they fail me, because of this onslaught of despondency.

You, Lord, have heard my cry.
You have accepted my pleas for help.
These memories; this sadness will be ashamed and dismayed.
They will retreat in sudden disgrace.

Do I love that David's song which starts out so mournful, so hopeless, ends with a chant of victory? Do I love that when I cry the same tears and speak the same words as David, that my Lord fills me with hope with the last paragraph of this song? Ooh boy do I!

H

From Praise You in this Storm, by Casting Crowns:
"I was sure, God that You would have reached down
and wiped my tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again I say amen
and it's still raining, as the thunder rolls.
I barely hear You whisper through the rain:
"I am with you".
And as Your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am.
And every tear I've cried, You hold in Your hand
You've ever left my side.
And though my heart is torn,
I will praise You in this storm..."

H





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