45. An Anniversary Blessing

This weekend marks the one year anniversary of my exile from Brown Rd, Olympia. Instead of feeling devastated and reliving the trauma of that weekend, I am choosing (quite easily) to celebrate. Not the loss of my marriage, my Father hates divorce. I'm celebrating the recovery of the child God created me to be.

Today I began to re-read the book of Romans, and was stopped in my tracks by the Holy Spirit before even completing the first chapter! (Kim and Courtney, you might remember me referring to this as the Holy Spirit elbow-to-the-side when you were little :) 

Paul, "an obscure Roman citizen without connections" wrote his letter during a time of literary giants in Roman civilization: royal decrees, important poetry, moral philosophy--yet Paul's letter rose to great influence, surpassing all the world-class writings of the time. How could I not pay attention today?

Paul highlighted for me in Romans 1:22-25 how, from my lofty perch in my home in the forest above Olympia, I had lost sight of my First Love--GOD, who created that forest surrounding that home. I had traded Him for a big house, a pretty yard, an intellectually superior husband, financial security and lots of toys. I went to church, yes, I praised Him with singing, I had a fish on my car---but I had become proud and boastful.  Many times over the past year the thought has not escaped me, how many pictures I had on facebook of my home; or how walking into Costco now stung a little because I could no longer splurge on whatever I fancied. Pride and I had each other over a barrel: we OWNED each other.

Time and time and time again we see how God gently rescues His beloved from themselves, where the story goes like this: they think their world has come to an end; they feel like they've been blindsided; they only see rejection, grief, and loss...until one day Someone opens their eyes to the truth of their situation: RESCUE. GRACE. MERCY. BETTER-THINGS.  My exile from my home was NEVER a punishment (although I certainly deserved punishment). It was never a tool to teach me a lesson. It was never God saying you think you're a bigshot Trace, well let Me just show you what bigshot is... NO!  My exile was a blessing. Being saved from MYSELF was an act of kindness from a Father to His daughter, and Paul made that absolutely clear to me on this important weekend. 

"For although they knew God, they neither glorified Him as God nor gave thanks to Him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles"    ~Romans 1:21-23